Tagged: Poetry

Poetry Corner: Petty Grievance

It takes years and years
For civil engineers
To train and design traffic flows.

But you flashing your lights,
Yes it’s you with the right
To decide who must stop and who goes.

Poetry Corner: It’s Murder On The Orient Express

I’d like to go on the Orient Express,
To travel with such style and grace.
But whenever I look to see if I can book, 
It’s full of folk who won big on The Chase.

It all looks so terribly fancy,
Silver service for breakfast and dinner.
I want to see Istanbul, but the thing’s always full
Of people who outran Paul Sinha.

Perhaps I need lower ambitions –
Find somewhere less exotic to be.
Go on Pointless instead and win just enough bread
For a weekend in Southend-on-Sea.

But I would still like to go on it,
Where Poirot solved his most famous case.
But I won’t reach this goal with a Mastermind bowl
So I’ll have to win big on The Chase.

Poetry Corner: Boris

Everyone knows he’s a big massive liar.
His attempts to defend are just dire.
Not one person thinks
that they were just ‘work drinks’.
He’s bald and his pants are on fire.

Poetry Corner – The Tofu-eating Wokerati

Who ended the career of the great Todd Carty?
Who forced us to withdraw the sweet blue Smartie?
While you were all grieving, who forced us to party?
The tofu-eating wokerati.

Who removed the toxic inks from Sharpies?
Who’s the modern Senator Joseph McCarthy?
Who forces us to take cash from the oligarchy?
The tofu-eating wokerati.

Who assassinated Russell Harty?
Who said you can’t drive after a bottle of Bacardi?
Who is the real Professor James Moriarty?
The tofu-eating wokerati.

Poetry Corner – mCAT

My cats are twats.
A duo of dickheads,
A pair of prize pillocks,
A brace of bellends.
My cats are twats.

My cats are twats.
A couple of cockknockers,
The tosser twosome,
Prat partners.
My cats are twats.

My cats are twats.
Toolboxes in tandem,
The fabulous furry fuckhead fraternity,
A deuce of doofuses.
My cats are twats.