Who ended the career of the great Todd Carty?
Who forced us to withdraw the sweet blue Smartie?
While you were all grieving, who forced us to party?
The tofu-eating wokerati.

Who removed the toxic inks from Sharpies?
Who’s the modern Senator Joseph McCarthy?
Who forces us to take cash from the oligarchy?
The tofu-eating wokerati.

Who assassinated Russell Harty?
Who said you can’t drive after a bottle of Bacardi?
Who is the real Professor James Moriarty?
The tofu-eating wokerati.