I love a schnitzel and it’s dead easy to do.

You need: an egg (beaten), pork steaks, breadcrumbs, a massive rolling pin and an attitude. Oh, and a frying pan about steak-deep with oil.

First, get the oil on. Medium-high heat. You need it hot.
Beat the crap out of the steaks with the rolling pin. Like, flatten the bastards. Wash in the egg, cover in breadcrumbs, shallow fry until golden brown.

And that’s it. Post-christmas eating saw me not bother with the chips I’d normally do with it, just use up the remaining coleslaw instead.